a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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