that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
