omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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