new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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