This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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