we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
