she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
