Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
