I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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