puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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