I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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