My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just want to make out with him forever
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
