Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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