i don't like sucking hair
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
