If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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