You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I deserve this hangover.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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