She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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