Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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