I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
