ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
