he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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