I cockslap morals
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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