Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
