I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?