Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.