So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...