I wish I could punch you in the face.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar