did you get engaged???
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
