Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I will be naked everywhere
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
