i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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