I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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