You made me cry and you don't even care
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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