I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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