trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
