I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he shaved USA in his pubs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
