I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize