I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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