she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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