Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
