Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
