Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
