Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
