i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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