I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
