Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just had sex on a roof
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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