Your tits are I can't wait for
I need help removing her.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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