omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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