all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
