I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
