You made me cry and you don't even care
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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