worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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