I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My liver just broke up with me...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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