well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
