I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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