there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
