I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
