I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
