Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
