Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
