That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
