so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
