dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
