Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Success! We fucked roommates!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
