I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
