i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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